Morocco: The Unfulfilled Promise Land

Now that I’m back in Dakar, I’ve had some time to reflect on this past week in Morocco. Calling it an emotional rollercoaster is an understatement, but regardless of this fact, it was also an incredible learning experience. Not only did I learn about another country’s culture, people, and perspectives, but I also learned a lot about myself and the people I’ve been spending the past seven weeks with.

I learned about perspective. I witnessed multiple times, the complete obliteration of my people’s history in Moroccan's telling of their history. I heard from four different professors who all denied the persecution of the Jews by the various Arab dynasties who conquered Morocco. I tried to not write off these professors as bad people, but rather coming from perspectives as Moroccans, who want to believe the best in their country, even centuries ago. I had to learn how to set aside my anger and listen to what they were saying, even if I did not agree.

I learned how to defend. I did not just listen to these professors, but I also took action. I spoke out and brought their misconceptions to light. I made them acknowledge my people’s history, even if they continued to deny it. From this experience, as well as my conversation with Dr. Thiam I previously wrote about, I learned how important it is to know how to defend one’s position. Especially being part of a minority, I have to always be prepared for people who make judgements, stereotypes, or who are just completely unknowledgeable about my people. This means sometimes addressing topics I am afraid to touch with a ten-foot pole. Topics that are very controversial, but require a stance in order to accurately represent my values, my beliefs, and opinions.

I learned about expectations. I’ve learned so much about Jewish history in Morocco that I expected it to be just as it was in the 10th century. I expected a thriving Jewish community in each city I visited. I expected to feel relieved of my isolation from a Jewish community since being abroad. As you can see from my past blog posts, all of these expectations pretty much fell short. Thus, I had to learn how to deal with disappointment. I had to understand that things are not always as they seem, and that history is history; it does not always transfer to the present. Multiple times I also had to remember that I was not in Morocco on a Jewish program. I was not there to solely see Jewish sites, so perhaps this was where a lot of my disappointment stemmed from. However, I was not wrong to think we would have at least one Jewish site planned on our program because the theme was religious pluralism. After all, what good is it to hear Moroccan professors lecture about the welcomed Jewish communities when we are not seeing the reality for ourselves?

I have really good friends. Why did it take running into each other halfway across the world, for me to recognize how great of a friend David is? Perhaps it was fate who decided I needed him at that particular moment? I mean honestly, it could have been anyone. So why him? I think it is because I needed to be taught to recognize the people in front of me, and to not overlook those amazing people I encounter every day. David is such a good friend that I completely overlooked the past three years. It was God who decided I needed to recognize how valuable he actually is, which is why I believe he was there at that exact moment. It took me running into someone I usually see every day, halfway across the world, to realize how much I need to appreciate each person who walks into my life. God sure does act in funny ways.

I learned to recognize my privilege. As many times as I cried at night, wishing I was out of Morocco, out of Senegal, and in a place where I could be unapologetically Jewish, I had to recognize how fortunate I was to be abroad. I learned this from a conversation I had with Lamine, who helped me realize that part of the challenge was dealing with unfulfilled expectations and disappointments; that I signed up for this challenge and to remember that I had the privilege to do so. He helped me remember, at my lowest point, how much I had wanted to get away for a semester and how much I had wanted to discover a new place. This discovery does not come without challenges, something I knew going in, but had forgotten since being here.

Needless to say, a lot of learning happened this past week, and a lot more needs to be done for the rest of my time in Senegal. Honestly, at this point, I’m ready to be done. I’m ready to go home and be with my friends and family. I’m ready to be reconnected with my community and to not have to seek one out in a foreign place, constantly being disappointed by my lack of results. We’ve reached the halfway point in this semester and pretty much every single person is ready to leave. So what do we do? How do we make the rest of our time here worthwhile? How do we make it livable?

I think we take it moment by moment. Not even day by day, just moment by moment. We live and we learn, but only as each encounter, lesson, and new experience comes our way. We should not measure our time here in how many days or weeks we have left because that will make us miserable. I’ve found that measuring things which are meant to be unmeasurable, takes away from the true experience of these things. We need not be so quantitative, but rather more qualitative. We need to not measure our time in numbers, but in moments. So, I’m going to take each moment as it comes, learn what there is to learn from it, and move on. I hope the rest of my peers can learn this lesson so they are also not so miserable for the rest of their time here. After all, challenges aren’t called challenges if they don’t test your ability to move forward. So I'm to moving forward with no expectations, because the main thing I’ve learned from this past week is that expectations most often lead to disappointment.

Here’s to no expectations, moving forward, and living moment by moment.